Lessons in intercultural communications abound every day, everywhere.  Over the past few days, “my friend” learned how orientation to different jobs/careers fields can yield the same intercultural snafus found in cross cultural communications.

Whether it’s Jargon (think SEO, CEO, B-Hag, NGO, HACE), written communication styles (think Engineer vs. School Teacher) or simply the anticipated protocol for completing a project—never underestimate the cultural patterns that are unique to specific careers or job titles.

Here are a couple of real-life case studies that happened to my friends recently:

Case Study 1:

Two partners agree to co-present a concert.  At the last minute, it turns out no one has committed to renting instruments.

The event planner:  How can a professional band show up to play without instruments?

The music promoter:  Bands from out of town never travel with instruments.  How could you expect to present an out of town band without providing their ‘backline?’

Case Study 2:

One partner offers to sponsor an exhibit to feature projects of four international architects, if the other partner, a not-for-profit board, will coordinate and present the exhibit.

Five weeks before the opening it turns out the exhibit doesn’t actually exist, and production of the exhibit wasn’t included in the sponsorship.  In a closer review of the budget, indeed it only included flight and lodging for the architects, shipping, the opening event and related symposia…not exhibit production.

The lay person on the Board:  If you are sponsoring a program to bring in an architecture exhibit, I’d think it’s implied that the exhibit actually exists!

The architect on the Board:  It’s common practice in the US that architects will produce their own exhibition materials, to maintain control. (This one is a double whammy—expectations of architect vs. non-architect, plus differing practices between architects from two different countries.)

So what do you do?

As is the same with instances of intercultural conflict, yelling at the other person may feel good initially, but it won’t necessarily yield a positive outcome.

Repeating your position over and over while making the “duh” eyes also doesn’t really help.

Recognizing that you entered the conversation with a series of implicit assumptions (no matter how logical they are to you) based on your “title” in relation to the project, does help.

Here’s how:

1.) You’ll learn better questions to ask next time;

2.) You may listen more deeply to understand the others’ assumptions;

3.) You may learn something about another field that will help expand your value in future partnerships and interactions.

What are the underlying assumptions you carry with you?  How have they come up lately?

FADE IN:

FRONT DOOR OF HOME   OUTSIDE ON PORCH         MORNING

MOM pushes DILLON outside and turns to lock door behind them.  Dillon pauses, runs down stairs to climb snow pile next to sidewalk, opposite direction from garage.

MOM

                        “Come on, Dillon, the bell’s going to ring in 7 minutes.”

DILLON

                          “Look how tall I am mommy!”

MOM

                          “That’s great, Dillon.  Can we please walk to the car?”

Mom walks down driveway toward garage.  Dillon jumps off snow mound and follows.  He makes it about 15 feet before turning around, stops and stares up at neighbor’s drainpipe.  Mom gets all the way to garage door, unlocks it, looks up to see that Dillon is no longer behind her.  She opens garage, then turns to look at Dillon

MOM

                          ”Hurry up, Dillon, we’re late.  Six minutes to bell.  Come on, let’s go, get in the car.”

DILLON

                          “Look, Mommy.”

Dillon points up, mom follows finger to see bird nest cradled in the crook of the drainpipe.

MOM

                          “That’s wonderful, Dillon.  I can’t wait to look at it with you when we have more time.”

Mom opens car door for Dillon.  Dillon skips toward car, stopping again after only about 20 feet.

DILLON

                         “Ooh, mommy, come here.  What kind of foot prints are these?  I think it’s a bunny.”

MOM exhales loudly, spontaneously combusts.

As mentioned before, Dillon and mom have taken this same 100 foot walk at least 1,700 times in the past five years.  Mom is positive she knows every inch of it.  There is nothing new for her to see and learn.  Dillon, on the other hand is receptive to, even expects to find something new.  He arrives to this walk with no assumptions or pre-conceived ideas as to what he might find.

The parallel to intercultural communications is palpable.  Think of the wonder and amazement we might find if we approached each person we met with an open mind to discovery.   Who do you think you know well, and what can you ask them to learn something new?  What ideas do you bring with you when you meet new people based on their race, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation?  What happens when you open yourself up to the possibility of surprise?