(If you’re my client reading this please skip to the second paragraph)

When Carolyn and I first arrived at Chamber Music America’s 32nd annual conference in New York City this past weekend, as “Jazz People” people there representing the Hyde Park Jazz Festival, we thought “what are we doing here?”

At the outset people self-identified as either “classical” or “jazz.” Racial, ethnic or other superficial characteristics of difference were clearly insignificant in contrast to one’s musical orientation.  By the end of the weekend, however, all realized at a visceral level the deep value of cross-cultural communication in the form of collaboration between jazz and classical traditions.

Musicians played jazz with string instruments (Quartet San Francisco, and Harlem Quartet-above).  Saxophonists played Chopin (Capitol Quartet).  A violist and percussionist (duoJalal, featuring durbakeh--goblet drum, djembe and riq–a tambourine, but you’ve never seen one played like this before) commissioned original work to play together. 

And genius never goes wrong.  Keynote speakers included Steven Reich, called “our greatest living composer” by The New York Times and “the most original thinker of our time” by The New Yorker.  He humbly and personably laid bare before us his inspiration and creative process, including drawing upon classical, non-Western and Jazz traditions, spoken word, pigeons flapping wings, and spoken word, even interviews with Holocaust Survivors.

We stood in the back at the beginning of the session with Leon Botstein, President of Bard College, agreeing to slip out as soon as we started to nod off during his speech on “Performance in the Age of Recording.”  I sat down when he opened by warning that he would offend most if not all of us, and laughed openly with his reference to going to church as an analogy to distinguishing between composers and performers in classical music:  “If you don’t like sermon you don’t say “I don’t like Jesus…you just don’t like the way that particular preacher is talking about Jesus.” 

He won Carolyn’s heart when saying how live performance will always trump a recording.  “You want to see the musicians have fun and engaging with each other on stage…that will engage your audience.”

The constant theme was about creating new music based on thinking out of the box… by stepping out of narrowly defined possibilities for creation into a world of possibility.

This idea was embodied by CMA’s recipient of the 2010 Richard J. Bogomolny National Service Award, Chick Corea.  According to CMA, “A jazz luminary for more than 40 years, Corea has been a transformative voice in virtually every style of chamber music.”  In addition to 55 Grammy nominations and 14 Grammy’s, at least 10 presenters talked about meeting Corea and experiencing his music as a “life changing event.”

And now back to the performance by the Harlem Quartet:  It’s a single, visual image in less than three minutes that sums up the power of drawing from diverse traditions to create something new and exciting.

In adapting this concept to my own work, I win from an audience development perspective by appealing to a broader base (classical, jazz, and Latin music aficionados, plus a wider age demographic.) 

But then it looks like I already won, when I walked out of my own knowledge-base and into the “Chamber” room and said “let me listen and see what I can learn.”

What are “opposite” traditions, theories or approaches in your field?  How have you or might you integrate them into your own practice.  What were the results?

After much whining during our trip to see family in Brazil last week, my eight year old son announced that he was behaving badly because “everyone here is being mean to me.”  Knowing that nothing could be further from the truth, I immediately went from being (annoyed) mother to ethnographer:  This was culture shock…a gut reaction to the perceived isolation of being in another environment and communicating across a language barrier.

Here’s a sample of what culture shock looked like in an 8 year old:

• He overindulged (in chocolate);
• He isolated himself (in the bedroom watching movies);
• He reacted or got mad more easily;
• He thought everyone was against him, even those closest to him (that would be me).

Sound familiar?  The good news is, once diagnosed, there are some tips to try to ease some of the anxiety of culture shock:

1. Don’t overindulge.  While it may seem like another glass of wine (or Caipirinha, in Brazil) will make you feel more relaxed, it may make you feel worse about yourself or, particularly in the case of alcohol, exacerbate your gut feelings.  (It can also make you gassy and drunk….in which case skip #2.)

2. It’s not about you.  You may feel that everyone’s against you or doesn’t respect you, but that may actually be because you feel you are not being recognized for your full value.  Or, people insist on helping you with (or preventing you from) doing things you’ve done your entire adult life.  But this isn’t about who you are; it’s about not being able to communicate everything you have to offer and people more familiar with the area wanting you to be safe and happy.  Who you are at your core doesn’t change because of how someone else sees you.

3. Learn the lingo.  Pick up key words, phrases, etc. that you can contribute.  Even Dillon learned “chocolate,” “suco (juice),” “vem Babi” (come, Babi-to call the family dog), and “Por Favor” and “Muito Obrigado” (please and thank you).  He latched onto “abacaixi” (pineapple) juice as his favorite, or carne (meat) for main dishes.  Those were common items readily available that he learned to recognize from a list-as in would you like the suco de laranja, uva, maracuja o abacaixi?  “Abacaixi, por favor.”

Where or when have you felt Culture Shock?  Was it in another country, or have you had the same feelings in the U.S. but in a situation where you were the only one of your gender, race, culture, ability, etc.  How did you feel?  How did you react?

Where does family fit in, you may ask?  I’ve always thought that if you are an expert at cross-cultural communications, you should be able to get along with anyone, including everyone in your family.    If the old adage “practice makes perfect” rings true, family life is rich with opportunity to practice your cultural competency skills. 

Diversity Best Practices captures diversity as “the wide spectrum of experiences, values, perspectives, and outlooks that are generated from our distinctions. These differences may include race, ethnicity, gender, age, religious affiliation, language group, abilities/disabilities, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, geographic region, and more.”  My family captures at least 8 of 10 of these differences.  Add differences in experience and belief systems, and it’s no wonder there are movies and plays about dysfunctional family gatherings from a multitude of cultural perspectives.

The good news is there’s still time to practice before the next round of holiday gatherings.  Here are three tips to help you prepare adapted from The Thiagi Group’s list of 101 Intercultural Insights: 

DON’T GET ANGRY — ASK QUESTIONS. Put aside your own emotional reactions to unexpected behaviors, and avoid making assumptions about the motives behind those behaviors.   

BE PATIENT, WITH YOURSELF AND WITH OTHERS. Working across cultures provides many ‘opportunities’ to make mistakes or be unintentionally offensive.

GIVE RESPECT. In working with people anywhere, probably the most important aspect of your behavior is conveying respect. If it is apparent that you have, and are trying to show, respect for the other person, then generally faux pas are of little consequence.

So if Uncle Bob starts to nod off after asking ‘what’s new’, ask “why?” Your life may not be boring; your uncle may just be tired from driving so far to see you.   And if mom says your pumpkin pie was SO much better this year, she may really be trying to compliment this year’s meal. 

Intercultural communications is about truly coming together to communicate across lines of difference.  Embrace your family holiday gatherings as the ultimate test of your accomplishment, and enjoy.

A few months ago there were a number of studies and articles saying that whites were afraid to talk to people of color for fear of saying something that would be construed as racist.  But in the world of business, for example in Chicago, the fear of crossing the cultural divide can rule out 50% of your potential customer base before you even say go. 

Rudyard Kipling once said “everyone who is like us is ‘us’ and everyone who is different is ‘them’.  But in a business networking situation, everyone is ‘us.’ Everyone is there for purpose of making professional contacts to promote their business.  The fact that people are of different racial and ethnic backgrounds is simply a reflection of the world we live in.  So, get out of your cultural comfort zone.

1. When you walk into a seminar, sit next to the black guy, or introduce yourself to the Hispanic person… In other words-consciously step out of your culture comfort zone and sit next to someone who is different than you. (This is clearly more directed to me and my ‘fellow’ Caucasians-from observation and tales of personal experience, people of color are more often the minority in these situations, so sitting next to someone different may commonly be the only option.)
2. Etiquette is etiquette-being polite and charming is always in style, no matter who you are talking to.
3. Exercise your personal power.  Know who you are and offer your experience as a starting point for conversation.  Who your are and what you do professionally doesn’t change because of who you are talking to.
4. Listen.  Remember that listening is the number 1 skill to master in effective communications-dialogue is a give and take with both parties having a chance to share.
5. Throw assumptions to the wind.  Double remember.  You know nothing about this person, because you just met him or her.  Don’t let your assumptions get in the way of really learning about and appreciating who you are with.  This could be the person who will transform your life.