Dear Mrs. Obama,

Wow, what a cool appearance on I-Carly (debuted January 16, “iMeet the First Lady.” How exciting to use such a popular platform to spread the message about how important it is to support military families.  It was a brilliant marketing idea (I understand it was yours) to reach the 5.5 million people who watched the episode, making it the week’s top telecast with all kid and tween demos.  The show served as a great Public Service Announcement to support military families.

On the other hand, I’m sorry you couldn’t have put in a plug for anti-racism and healthy relationships—in particular non-violent resolution to conflict.  Without denigrating what you did and the positive message you spread, I’m wondering if you’ve watched the show lately.  While we (me, my husband and our 10 year old son) have watched the show for at least a couple of years, (and we didn’t want to miss seeing you) 2012 is the year we say goodbye.

Why? First, we can’t swallow the promotion of violence as the first resolution to conflict, particularly for young people beginning to explore love relationships.   It was the “iCan’t Take It” episode in September, at the outset of Season 5, that did it.  Freddie and Sam are getting closer, Carly hates being in the middle, Gibby gets revenge by telling Mrs. Benson, Freddie’s mom, and all hell breaks loose.  But for every conflict, Sam reacts violently.  She gets mad at Freddie, she kicks him.  She gets mad at Gibby, she pulls out a 3” section of hair and scalp.  Gibby threatens Mrs. Benson.   And it’s all supposed to be funny. 

But it’s not.  You know why?  Because teen-dating violence is real, and it’s not funny.  According to the Bureau of Justice teen dating violence statistics , about one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship.  The show is following tweens morphing into teens, puppy love, learning about relationships.  According to iCarly—lying, beating, punching and kicking is the way to go.  To which I say no. 

And I did, until all of the promo for iStill Pshycho, the much hyped follow-up to last year’s iPsycho, where Carly, Sam and Freddie are taken hostage by an over-zealous fan.  We hadn’t watched since September, Sam and Freddie are no longer a couple; so, let’s try it again, right?

Except that, aside from the fact that untreated mental illness is not funny (think Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords), the violence has escalated.  IPsycho features torture, sword fights, and possibly worse, passive inaction at the suffering of others.  Freddie is attacked while Sam and Carly idly watch eating cake.  “It was really good cake,” they explain.  Gibby makes it to the top of the chimney to get help for the others imprisoned inside, only to get stuck.  The neighborhood kids, seeing his plight, instead pelt him with tennis balls.  

But the subplot is what really got me…over the top racism.  T-Bo, the manager of the Groovy Smoothie shop and only African American character on the show (On the good side, I suppose, it looks like his character is being integrated more centrally into the show) is now renting a room from Mrs. Benson, Freddie’s over-protective mom.  But, it looks like to stay there, he is being forced to act “white.”  To act “Proper” is the term used in the plot summary.  But to act “proper,” he changes from his bright clothes into a suit and neatly secures his waist long dreadlocks before heading ‘home.’  He speaks in a formal voice, and has to learn to play Mahjong (Note—my 10 year old son says this last point undermines my argument that he’s forced to act white, as Mahjong is a 2,000 year old Chinese game.)  Why does he do this, the kids ask him? “If my mom sees how he really is,” answers Freddie, “she’d never let him in my house.” 

“Let’s all pretend T-Bo doesn’t have feelings,” he responds.

In the end, after riding a motorcycle through the door and saving Spencer (Carly’s older brother) and the kids from an eternity in hell, he’s allowed to be himself and stay at Mrs. Benson’s, but when he goes in to join the group hug—they recoil in disgust, not wanting to be touched by him.

So, Mrs. Obama, I understand that Sasha and Malia are fans of the show.  My question to you is, are these the lessons you are planning to teach them?  For me and my ten year old son, the answer is no.

Perhaps the real answer is watching together to talk about the issues.  “How could that have been resolved differently?”  “What would/could you have done in that situation?”

What are you and your kids doing together, and what are you talking about at the dinner table?

Photo Credits:  Mrs. Obama on iCarly, Lisa Rose/Nickelodeon, T-Bo in Suit from Robs I-Carly blog, and T-Bo as himself, Sodahead

Found this movie, A Day Without a Mexican, in the ‘returns pile’ at the Library, and had to see it.  What would happen if you woke up in the middle of a bustling US City (Los Angeles) and all of the Mexican’s were gone?

That’s what happens in this great mock-documentary, directed by Sergio Arau.  White people in business suits are washing their own cars and taking care of their own children;  the tourism industry is strangled as food and dirty dishes languish in kitchens, professional baseball stops, schools close for lack of teachers, crops rot on the ground, the weather by LA’s favorite weatherman goes unreported…

“How do you make the invisible visible?” asks starring actress Yarelli Arizmendi, “you take it away.”  Yarelli is Lila Rodriguez, a TV News reporter and the only Hispanic left in LA, until she discovers she is really Armenian, only adopted and raised by Mexicans.  Although once she says, upon the revelation by an aunt of her “true” ethnic identity, ”In my heart I’m really Mexican,” she disappears, too. (This prompted a great discussion with our son about what determines cultural identity…nature or nurture).

Respondents on “Rotten Tomatoes” were not all kind, commenting that the movie is based on a single premise, and clearly has a single opinion, but watching in the comfort of our home, with our son, it gave us plenty to think about and talk even two weeks later.  The behind the scenes–how the movie got started, interviews with the actors, etc., all were very interesting as well.

What do you watch together as a family?  Did you grow from it?

Dave Barry was always able to just take vacation and run old columns.  For me, I’m entering a new world that is based in economic disparity and developmental disabilities–absolutely at the top of the engagement and inclusion/social exclusion list, but new territory that hasn’t quite gelled.  So in the meantime, I’m periodically re-running posts that were personal favorites.  After all, how can you not love a FULL-SCALE replica of an Easter Island Head, on someone’s lawn next to the Wendy’s in a little town in Wisconsin…

(from June 25, 2008)  I’ve been pondering this issue of “Cultural Tourism,” and realize that the better term for what I am talking about, experiencing and appreciating other cultures in a way to diminish prejudice, is more accurately named Urban Anthropology.  A tourist, by definition, is “someone who is traveling for pleasure.”  It is a passive view from the outside, with no commitment to learning or change, hence the perhaps valid criticism of it’s ineffectiveness as a meaningful tool to combat racism.

Urban Anthropologists, on the other hand, “look at how people living in diverse communities cope with current social and cultural changes.  They study the kinds of social relationships and patterns of social life unique to cities.” (per Rosa Cabrera, Center for Cultural Understanding and Change at The Field Museum.)  Plus, anthropologists get to do “ethnography” and “participant observation,” where they become part of the ‘culture’ they are ‘studying’ and participate in activities along with the culture they are observing and learning about.

It’s along those lines that my son L and I took off with another of his 7 year old friends on a road trip from Chicago to Ephraim, WI, to see the Norwegian Fyr Bal festival and experience what I think of as real “Americana.”

We saw a statue of Romeo the Killer Elephant in Delavan, WI (according to roadsideamerica.com he trampled 8 people to death but was spared because he was sad after the loss of his female companion, but the statue in town square just identified him as a symbol of Delavan’s history as the Circus capital of the Midwest in the late 1800’s), we then saw an exact, full-scale replica of an Easter Island head on someone’s lawn in New Berlin, WI, where we also happened upon a rummage sale with Pokemon Cards on sale for 50 cents, had Ice Cream Sundae’s in Two Rivers, which claims to have invented them, and took our picture with the World’s Largest Grandfather Clock, before settling into Ephraim for the fish boil and bonfire ceremonies that are a tradition for this festival (we stayed at the Trollhaugen Lodge, which of course had statues of trolls all around, and had breakfast at a restaurant with goats on the roof-real, live goats who graze on the grass covered roof of Al Johnson’s Swedish Restaurant).

You have to really like this type of thing to thoroughly relish stretching a four hour drive into eight hours, with all of our stops and using the county highways and side roads (wind surfing with your hand out the window while speeding through farm fields along a two-lane county highway is pure freedom!).  At any rate, this is a polite way of saying it was just me and the boys, because anyone else might spontaneously combust.  Granted, I planned the trip out, had detailed directions from AAA, knew we would only drive during the day, and had covered basic safety issues, but other than that had no apprehension that we would not be welcome or that we would face any safety concerns out of the ordinary. And my expectations along those lines were fully met.

Which makes me wonder.  Is this a universal experience, or is the fact that I am fearless throughout this entire trip an indicator of my white privilege?  I’m left with a nagging feeling it is–the idea that as a white person I can go anywhere.  But what am I saying if I believe minorities should be afraid of taking this same road trip?  I set out to discover true Americana in small town America, but am left wondering if that is an oxymoron, and if this was at the end of the day, completely ‘white’ Americana not only showing the divide in our day to day experiences, but also acknowledging the deeper need to understand our possibly separate experiences of growing up in the same country.

Brazilian-Guinean singer and dancer Fanta Konate will bring her African Sensory Experience to Chicago from December 1 to 10, 2010 as part of a cultural exchange program sponsored by The Illinois-Sao Paulo Chapter of Partners of the Americas.  A native of Sao Paulo Brazil, Fanta’s public performances of music and dance in schools, with dance companies, and in cultural settings epitomizes the African influence in Brazilian music and dance and highlights parallels to African influence in the arts in Chicago.

“Chicago and Sao Paulo have a common heritage in the Manden culture which spread to Brazil and the United States through the African Diaspora,” said Chris Preissing, Illinois-Sao Paulo Partners Board Member and volunteer coordinator for the Fanta Konate trip.  “It is the goal of this project to use the music and dance of the Manden Culture to engage at risk youths and professionals who work with disadvantaged youths to increase human potential and create environmental sustainability,” added Preissing.

Direct artistic work over the 10 day exchange will reach over 1,000 and include students in Evanston, through the BooCoo Cultural and Music Center, and in Chicago through the Old Town School of Music field trip program, University of Illinois Chicago theater department, Columbia College, Loyola and DePaul Universities. Educational and cultural activities will reach approximately 500 through the Chicago Public Schools, the Kovler Center for Survivors of Torture and more.

Founder of the Africa Vivá Institute, Fanta had her training in the African Ballet styles of “Hamaná,” “Fareta,” “Bolonta,” “Soleil d’Afrique,” and “Sangbarala,” the style of her village. Whether performing deeply traditional West African themes with her sisters and brothers in Troupe Djembedon or with other guest artists and collaborators in the “Contemporary Diaspora” style, Fanta Konatê always delights audiences with her mastery of a variety of timbres, styles and tempos.

Dancer and Singer Fanta Konate is the daughter of Master Djembefola Famoudou Konatê.  Her work represents a fusion of Manden culture often combined with the music therapy of her husband and artistic collaborator Luis Kinugawa.  Their work originated in the “Biomusic Without Borders” work in 1998 in Brazil, and has continued with social projects in Guinea and Sierra Leone from 2000 to 2002 with Non-Profit  Organizations “Warchild,” “Doctors Without Borders,” and “Refugee Children of the World,” training as many as 40 art educators to work with 1,000 to 1,500 refugees at time.

Founded in 1965, Partners of the Americas is a not-for-profit volunteer organization committed to working together as citizen volunteers from Latin America, the Caribbean and the United States to improve the lives of people across the hemisphere. We not only dream of a better world, we roll up our sleeves and make a difference. Illinois-Sao Paulo (IL-SP) Partners is one of 120 Chapters and 60 Partnerships working to foster cooperation across the Western Hemisphere.

For more information visit us at www.illinois-saopaulo-partners.org, or find us on Facebook, Partners of the Americas Illinois-Sao Paulo Chapter.

Where can you hear 13 hours of Jazz for FREE?

At the Hyde Park Jazz Festival, Saturday, September 25, 2010.  The event runs from 1 pm to 2 am and takes place in 13 landmark and unexpected venues across Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood, from the Oriental Institute to Frank Lloyd Wright’s Robie House, to the James W. Wagner Main Stage on the Midway Plaisance, just south of 59th between Ellis and Woodlawn.

We will have 20,000 jazz lovers coming to Barack Obama’s stomping grounds to hear 150 musicians performing throughout the day.  And all of this is wonderful (okay, for full disclosure I am the Festival Manager this year, so it better be wonderful!) but the real story is the amazing, wonderful, delightful, energetic, and all around NICE volunteers.

350 volunteers will fill over 400 volunteer slots, contribuing 1,600+ hours of volunteer service to make sure that everyone at the event has an amazing time.  Volutneers come because they love Hyde Park, because they love Jazz, because they are new to town and thought it would be a great way to get involved.  The come for 3 hours, 5 hours, even 12 hours at a shot to make sure the day runs smoothly.

So, if you are at the Hyde Park Jazz Festival this Saturday, which I hope you will be, and you see the volunteers in the Bright Green Volunteer shirts–please be sure to say thank you…they are the most amazing and kind people I have ever met!

Photo by Marc Monaghan

After all of the build up, there was no way Dillon was going to miss trying a hot dog in Paris.

“A foot long, on a full baguette, and covered with cheese,” I recalled from my high school exchange trip.

“Sometimes with French Fries stuffed right into the bun!” added my husband.

“It lived up to the hype” said Dillon (not really, he’s 9, but he said something to that effect.)   And then we stopped to ponder the calorie/fat content in such a delicacy.  Ouch!  How can people eat these and stay in shape?

The next morning over breakfast of croissants and butter (isn’t that redundant?) our hostess, good friend and native Parisienne, Laurence, pointed out “But French people are not fat.  We walk everywhere.  We eat well, but we eat three meals and nothing in between.”

Ahh, I thought–the hot dog in the US is the “snack” you eat to hold you over until dinner.  Sure, it can be a meal, but it’s more the “I’m at the game-I smell the cart-Let’s grab a hotdog” kind of thing.

So there are two Intercultural Lessons here:

1.  Your opinion on things will influence your child’s (or student’s) anticipation of them.  That’s a powerful and responsible position, particularly when it comes to engaging in and experiencing different cultural traditions, and

2.  It’s good to understand the full context of an item in another culture, to understand that not only might something be prepared differently, but the custom around its consumption might be different in different cultures (think salad before or after dinner, and cheese for dessert?).

Who knew a hot dog could be such a good teacher?

What favorite foods or pasttimes from your culture have you tried in another?  How were they different?  How were they the same?

I’m often asked “what got you started in your interest in intercultural communications?”  Sometimes I say it was born inside of me, referencing the names of my pet black and gold fish at age 10, Martin Luther Fish and Golda My-Fish respectively (what 10 year old names their fish that?). 

Other times I refer to my first trip outside of the USA, on a three week exchange program at the Instituto de Filologia Hispanica in Saltillo, Mexico.  (This picture, which surfaced on Facebook today via an old friend, shows me deep in study…See, I told you, mom and dad that’s ALL we DID–we did not go to discos, learn how to do Tequila shots, or hang out with cute boys!)

This picture seems so calm for a life changing moment.  After 3 years of “levanta-te” (stand up), “pasa a la mesa” (go to the table), and “toma el lapiz” (pick up the pencil) I burst into Mexico like a “papagallo,” a parrot who could not stop talking. 

That I could be speaking and communicating in another language was exhilarating.  And, the night I separated from my USAmerican friends to go to a wedding reception with my Mexican tutor was pivotal in understanding the idea of multiple perspectives, as I found myself the sole anglo-USAmerican at a gathering of several hundred…for the first time I was the minority…I was ”the other.”

I came back home to St. Louis and at 15 road my bike up and down Olive Blvd. and applied for jobs at every business along the way.  I lied about my age (legally I was supposed to be 16) and started hostessing at Caleco’s after school.  Anything to start saving money to travel again.  I started studying French in fall, and the rest has grown from there.

Did you see all that in this picture?  What are the cardinal moments that changed your life?

Probably not billed as a kids movie (more “gratuitous” nudity than the average PG movie) but Dillon and I were excited to see “Babies,” the documentary, which follows the lives of four babies during their developmental years (from birth to walking):  Ponijao from Namibia, Bayarijargal from remote Mongolia, Mari in Tokyo, Japan, and Hattie in San Francisco, CA.

We were espeicially curious after USA Today gave the move a good review, but the Chicago Reader said “In the press notes (Director Thomas) Balmes argues that material advantages hardly compare to the love a child enjoys, but this sunny sentiment is belied by the yawning gap in the kids’ living conditions: the American and Japanese babies enjoy nice toys and stimulating mom-and-tot classes, while the African child plays with mud and flies.”

Our take?  The Reader’s evaluation is through a USAmerican lens that gauges happiness solely by material goods.  In some cases the babies from Tokyo and San Francisco seemed so protected as to have no “real’ contact with the outside world and depended on their parents for entertainment.  The babies from Mongolia and Namibia seemed to engage and learn from everything around them.  And, as Dillon mentioned, Mari cried in frustration when surrounded by toys in her Tokyo apartment, while Bayarjargal giggled in delight in Mongolia, completely absorbed by a role of toilet paper.

Three other takes:  1.) I was so the USAmerican Mom!  Native American singing classes, dolls with different skin colors, baby books called “No Hitting.” (Note to self, get out of house to experience different cultures); 2.) Our own bias (or lack of knowledge) shows in our reference to the baby from the Himba Tribe in Namibia always as “African” or from Africa–that’s like saying a baby is from Europe or South America, rather than from a specific country or culture–bias noted and research underway for next time; and 3.) Maybe sit away from anybody else–we whispered and chatted the whole time–lots of questions, comparisons, so many things to notice–too much for a child to absorb in silence!

The trailer is worth a peak, and ends with Dillon’s favorite scene–the goat drinking bath water, while the baby is still in it!

Have you seen it?  What do you think?  Got any other good intercultural family movies to suggest?