Found this movie, A Day Without a Mexican, in the ‘returns pile’ at the Library, and had to see it.  What would happen if you woke up in the middle of a bustling US City (Los Angeles) and all of the Mexican’s were gone?

That’s what happens in this great mock-documentary, directed by Sergio Arau.  White people in business suits are washing their own cars and taking care of their own children;  the tourism industry is strangled as food and dirty dishes languish in kitchens, professional baseball stops, schools close for lack of teachers, crops rot on the ground, the weather by LA’s favorite weatherman goes unreported…

“How do you make the invisible visible?” asks starring actress Yarelli Arizmendi, “you take it away.”  Yarelli is Lila Rodriguez, a TV News reporter and the only Hispanic left in LA, until she discovers she is really Armenian, only adopted and raised by Mexicans.  Although once she says, upon the revelation by an aunt of her “true” ethnic identity, ”In my heart I’m really Mexican,” she disappears, too. (This prompted a great discussion with our son about what determines cultural identity…nature or nurture).

Respondents on “Rotten Tomatoes” were not all kind, commenting that the movie is based on a single premise, and clearly has a single opinion, but watching in the comfort of our home, with our son, it gave us plenty to think about and talk even two weeks later.  The behind the scenes–how the movie got started, interviews with the actors, etc., all were very interesting as well.

What do you watch together as a family?  Did you grow from it?

On the way to dropping my son at school this morning we heard an ad for a fast-food restaurant that was boasting “hand-mashed” guacamole.

“That’s sounds kind of gross,” I said.

“Especially if it’s mashed by dirty hands,” my son added.

“Ewww” we both shouted.

Why would the advertiser think that was a desirable trait?  It reminded me of the same discussion of Grandma’s mashed potatoes from last week, and the underlying values we assign in society.

Values in any society are the central “shoulds” and “oughts.” Values are deeply embedded and consciously or unconsciously control our behaviors on a daily basis. Values vary from culture to culture; how values are expressed vary from culture to culture, and the same action in two different cultures might not trace back to the same value.

One culture may value individualism and competition (for example USAmerican Culture).  Another culture may value group and collaboration (for example, Japanese culture).  Individuals from both cultures may work equally hard (the action) but for one it’s for personal gain, for the other it may be so the group succeeds–the underlying value is different.

On the flip side, two individuals may intend to show deep respect for another person.  In one culture deep respect is demonstrated by direct, steady eye contact; in another culture, the ultimate show of respect is avoiding eye contact.  You can imagine the misunderstandings or tension that might underlie an exchange between people of these different backgrounds.

But back to my guacamole.  The underlying value here and with the potatoes is that something made by hand, as opposed to a machine, is better.  It hearkens back to a day when automated assistance (aka kitchen gadgets) weren’t as readily available, restaurants and convenience foods weren’t an option, and “home made” was often the only option.

And my question is…does that value still hold true in USAmerican Society?  We like fresh, we like healthy, but we like convenience.  We want it now.  We like time spent with our mom, not time she spends hidden in a kitchen.

Marketers spend oodles of time thinking about marketing to international cultures.  But maybe it’s time to reevaluate the changing values of society, and how we are marketing to consumers here at home.

For me, I’d be more tempted by the potatoes from the Chef at Mon Ami Gabi, and I’d rather not think too deeply how you made my guacamole.  What about you?

Photo Credit:  Whatscookingamerica.net

I saw an ad on late nite TV last night for a pharmaceutical promoted as critical to help men’s health as they age.  The patient was an older white man, and the doctor (also a man) was African American.

According to a recent article by Ronald Brownstein in the National Journal Magazine, “The Gray and the Brown:  The Generational Mismatch, this casting is an accurate representation of the future.  According to the article, 

From one direction, racial diversity in the United States is growing, particularly among the young. Minorities now make up more than two-fifths of all children under 18, and they will represent a majority of all American children by as soon as 2023…

At the same time, the country is also aging, as the massive Baby Boom Generation moves into retirement. But in contrast to the young, fully four-fifths of this rapidly expanding senior population is white.

Brownstein reflects on this as a source of conflict:  “In an age of diminished resources, the United States may be heading for an intensifying confrontation between the gray and the brown”

But what if it was the exact dynamic that would make everyone jump up and say “we all need intercultural communications training…NOW!”  And why now?

A look at small business marketing may help.  When a business owner thinks of his/her “elevator speech,” the 30 second encapsulated description of his/her business, the advice is to go for the pain.*  What is the pain your client feels and how does your company heal it—that’s how you get someone hooked

Until now, perhaps majority white populations haven’t collectively felt the pain.  But an aging population dependent on younger, diverse caregivers may shift that balance.

I always refer to my 79-year-old white dad as my “single person focus group.”  When I explained my work in intercultural competence and communications, he would say “that’s nice, for those who need it, but not integral to success of a business.”

Yet when he recently was in a rehab center after a fall, he called me.  “Can you give me some of your tips on Intercultural Communications?” he asked.  “I’m realizing it’s critically important for me to connect to the (majority African American) people helping me here.”  From the physical therapist to the nurses to the person delivering his meals, “If I connect with them I feel better, and I recover more quickly.”

Suddenly he realized the critical need for intercultural competence because he felt the pain.  Understanding when “the difference makes a difference” or recognizing direct vs. indirect communications styles, helped.  “You’re a genius” he said at the end of our “lesson.”

So federally mandated Cultural Competence Training for all seniors?  Ultimately it takes “two to tango” and it always works better when both ‘sides’ of a conversation have facility in recognizing and understanding the influence of culture on different communication styles.

But why not?   As I sit at the precipice of being an old white woman, and it’s more authentic to say “here’s what I can do” rather than “here’s what you can do to serve me” (ah, if only it worked that way!) and 2.) The person feeling the “pain” is the one with the most impetus to start.

What do you think?  Are we headed for doom, or opportunity, as gray meets brown?

*Sign up for the free American Family Insurance Business Accelerator Program for access to the free webinar “Refining Your Elevator Pitch and Taking Your Business to the Next Level.”

I need to go take a shower.

I just caught myself talking to my husband’s kindly Indian colleague over the phone like he was an idiot, plus I read this article by Tim Wise “Imagine if the Tea Party Was Black,” and realized I am guilty. (This is a must read!)

One, because looking at actual numbers I had assumed the tea party was inconsequential, and two, because, between me, you, the lamppost and my conscience, I would have been scared last week when I had to walk through a dispersing crowd at a Tea Party rally in Spokane, had the group been black.

It was ironic that just next door to the Spokane Convention Center where the Tea Party Rally was held was the Doubletree Hotel, where the SIETAR USA conference was being held.  SIETAR, the Society for Intercultural Education, Training and Research was talking about living and working in an intercultural world (I was in town for the latter).

On my way to dinner I had to walk alone through the crowd of mostly older, white men and women, dressed in blue jeans and American flags, carrying signs condemning Obama and his policies.  My dramatic protest?  I said “no thank you” when offered their printed propaganda.  Ooohh, you are so brave!

Using the Peggy McIntosh model, White Privilege is questioning why moderate Muslim leaders don’t vocally condemn fanatical Muslims, while standing quietly aside and disassociating myself from radical White Christians.

But this is also a good “wake-up call.”  While I strive to be aware of my own cultural orientation, biases and communication style, it is said that when under stress we revert to those first learned.  

In other words, when faced with the day to day challenges of life (balancing work, family, health, economy, etc.) or events more dramatic, we might revert to our “natural” or first learned communication tendencies, and forget our intercultural yearnings.

Shwooh—I guess the good news is that I’ve realized all of this before leaving my house this morning.  Good thing I haven’t done anything stupid like publicizing my unconscious bias on a public blog or something.

Anything you want to come clean about?  How does recognizing your unconscious gut responses make you a better person?

Photo credit flickr Rachid Lamzah

Have you heard the old joke that plays on the philosophical question about a tree falling in the forest?  You know the one… “If you’re in the forest and you say something wrong and your spouse (of course I’m going with the gender neutral version!) doesn’t hear you, are you still wrong?”

While seemingly innocuous, it does reveal a critical distinction that permeates all of intercultural communications:  What you do/who you are versus how you are perceived or judged against the norms of society. 

In intercultural communications and anthropology, the idea is to give individuals and cultures hegemony, the power to exist in and of our own right, from our own point of first-person expression.

The story of 7-year-old Julia Lira, selected by her father Marco Lira to be the Samba Queen for the Viradouro School in the Carnaval parade in Rio is a case in point.

One the one hand, kids know how to samba in Brazil by the age of two…it’s part of the culture (I learned at 26 from my 3 and 4 year old nieces.)  Plus, it’s not crazy for a parent to think that their child is the best in everything.  And, as Lira says, “Any man who looks at a 7-year-old child and feels any sort of excitement should go see a doctor.”

On the flip side, Carnaval costumes are elaborate yet teeny, and samba moves in and of themselves can be seen as suggestive–I’ve tried teaching it in some of my aerobic classes in the US—our hips just don’t move that way!  (although for background, anyone can come in costume or join a Samba School and participate in Carnaval.)

While she did perform, it was nearly impossible for Julia just to simply be a little girl essentially putting on a dance recital.  Her actions cannot be interpreted separate from the history of the event which focuses on women as objects of desire.  (Or maybe it’s just that the women are gorgeous and therefore desireable—like the Neutrogena commercial… “don’t hate me because I am beautiful!”)  

While serving as food for thought, writing this piece confirms why I am not wont to form a strong position about current news stories without having the facts behind the story.  While Julia may be a cute little girl, the Viadouro school apparently drew controversy in 2008 by featuring a Hitler and Holocaust survivors.  That float was ruled illegal and denied entry, but it frames the current decision as exploitative of his daughter, to gain media coverage.    

In the final competition, Julia and the Viadouro school came in last.  The Samba Queen from the winning school was four months pregnant…a soon to be mom.

Maybe for next year we’ll just work on changing the norms through which women are viewed.

What do you think?

photo credit Times Online UK

I find myself running around today singing “Rockin Around the Christmas Tree” and “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas”.  And with 6 inches of snow on the ground in Chicago, Bing Crosby’s (above) White Christmas is at the top of my list, too.

As my son says “you’re not even Christian.”  But that doesn’t stop me from craving Santa shaped sugar cookies and cinnamon potpourris this time of year either.

Why?  Because I grew up in the United States.  And while Christmas clearly carries deep religious significance for many, it also has a dramatic and central role in American popular culture.  It’s still a fantastic day with no work and a time to spend with family.  Who doesn’t want that?

So, next time someone expresses surprise at my “Jewish” nostalgia for Christmas past, perhaps I’ll just say “oh, I’m celebrating the Japanese version of Christmas!

Egg Nog, anyone?

What are you doing tonight and tomorrow?  Is it typically “American?”  What are the parts that strike you as such?

Happy Holidays!

In less than 30 seconds on the Internet I can find what Casanova’s job was in 1798, what Darwin had for dinner on January 3, 1834, 1,500 recipes for banana cake and how to add water to a sub-pump.  What I can’t find is how two judges could “choos(e) to treat children as commodities that could be traded for cash,” taking $2.6 million in kickback cash in return for unfairly sending children to jail.

According to Clarence Page in his editorial in yesterday’s Chicago Tribune, “the two (Judges Mark Ciavarella and  Michael Conahan, pictured above) received a commission for every day they sent a child to private detention centers…As many as 2,000 kids are reported to have been incarcerated out of 5,000 who were sentenced,” which apparently is 2.5 times the average rate.

For Page, he was “appalled that the confessions of Ciavarella and Conahan were overshadowed completely by other news, like the Post’s chimpanzee cartoon…which sparked national protests and an apology from the Post and Rupert Murdoch…” 

For me, as a marketer and communication/presentation coach, I always remind clients:  People remember things in three’s-what are the three things you want them to remember, and what is your call to action?

Perhaps it’s just that the New York Post cartoon is an easier fix.  1.  Newspaper ran cartoon.  2.  People found it offensive.  3.  Admit you are wrong.  Call to Action:  Apologize to the public.  You make your point.  You get an apology.  Case closed.

But the case in Pennsylvania signals an awakening more than a closure.  How could this have gone on for so many years (2003-2008)?  What changes to the system are needed to better protect children?  And what about the 1,000’s of children’s lives thrown off track, time lost never to be regained?

While Page questions a distinction between civil rights and economic disparity, institutional racism is about unequal access to resources, which is abundant here.   Even in the field of diversity, Jessica Marquez, New York bureau chief for Workforce Management says “experts believe there will be more focus on multicultural as well as socioeconomic diversity within the workplace,” in the future.  Just as globally, the idea of civil rights is morphing into a call for human rights. 

Karen Bass, Speaker of the California Assembly said “You judge a society by how it treats its most vulnerable citizens.”  While for me a quick “5 Easy Steps to an Honest and Equitable Judicial System” doesn’t spring to mind, I am left with the words of Neil Young in response to the shootings at Kent State in Ohio years ago:  ”How can you run when you know?” 

And so I am left needing to do something.

1. Donate if you are able to the Juvenile Law Center in Philadelphia, which is pursuing this case on behalf of the children
2. Google your state Juvenile Justice System to see what’s happening or what you can do in your state.
3. Send a note to the MacArthur Foundation to thank them for their $120M national initiative to reform juvenile justice across the country, Models for Change.
4. Talk to your children about this.  It should be obvious, but explain why it’s wrong, and talk about things you might do together to prevent it from happening in the future.

That’s what I came up with, and it doesn’t feel like near enough.  What do you suggest?  What will you do?  If you are ready to address diversity and inclusion in the workplace, are you ready to ‘walk the talk’ and integrate the same tenets into your core values?  What will that look like?

When Samantha Runnion was plucked from her front yard and found dead only hours later, Dillon was no longer allowed to play outside by himself; when three young boys were found asphyxiated in the trunk of a car, Dillon got a long lecture about never, ever, ever hiding in abandoned refrigerators or cars or any type of enclosure where he might get locked in.  He’s gotten lectures about never talking strangers even if they offer puppies or candy; avoiding long curtain cords or giving out personal information on the computer, about knowing that no matter how sad he gets he must always talk to mommy.  In each case, horrific news stories about the loss of a child and deep empathy for an anguished mother translated into action steps to avoid this ever happening in our family.

 ”Oh, of course,” I immediately thought, when I read about Timothy Cole and saw the accompanying photo, his smiling face, full of promise. “This happened because of the “all black men look alike and black men rape white women stereotypes from back then.”  This thought was followed by “suppress that thought and do not say it out loud, you racist” followed by  ”I didn’t make it up those are the societal stereotypes” followed by “I’d like to think this wouldn’t happen today” followed by “but I know these prejudices still abound.”

As part of the majority culture, the question was not about warning Dillon how not to be the victim, but how not to (presumably inadvertently) be the perpetrator, and how to explain this without articulating and thereby perpetuating the underlying stereotypes.   

A story on NPR a few days later, related to Black History Month, later gave the entrée.  “We studied that in school.  Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks were responsible for Civil Rights,” he said with a 7-year-old’s simplicity, as we listened to the story.  Here was an invitation to explain that while what he learns during black history month is great, it’s important to remember that African Americans and people of all backgrounds contribute to our history every day, not just in February.  Thousands of people stood up and continue to stand up for Civil Rights, and he too can make a difference in history by standing up for what he believes in.

The danger of prejudice is that people become a stereotype or an archetype.  By framing the conversation around how everyone has the power to change the world and the obligation to stand up for what is right, we acknowledge that each person is unique.  And the only way that we can protect and honor our own individuality is by recognizing it in others. The best way to exonerate Timothy Cole is to make a commitment and teach my child to do this in every interaction, every day. What news stories have resonated with you, where you felt you had to do something?  What action have you taken.  How do you frame conversations about race, or take steps in your own life to overcome the unconscious bias of society?