(this piece originally ran 5/08, but always makes us laugh)

I have two words to say.  Butt  soup.  Now that I have your attention…

When my son Lucca was 4 we had a problem getting him to stop eating with his hands.  “Stop it, Lucca,” I scolded.  “Why?” asked Lucca.  “Because we don’t eat with our hands,” I said. As I said it I instantly realized that I was possibly setting my child up to be the ‘ugly American’ in his future world travels by creating an unnecessary hierarchy of customs, so I added in the same breath, “…in our culture.  In other cultures it’s accepted to eat with your hands, but in our culture and with this particular food item, we use silverware.”

A couple months later, out of the blue, Lucca asked “Mommy, what’s that culture where you can eat with your hands?”  “Ethiopia,” I answered, “and perhaps in some parts of India.  Why?”

“Can we go to that restaurant?” Lucca responded.  How ingenious, I thought.  We did a Google search for “Ethiopian Restaurant Chicago” and found a great place called Ethiopian Diamond. Telling the story of how we chose to be there opened a conversation with the server, who was from Ethiopia and shared insights into the food and his homeland.  As we ate the “injera,” the traditional Ethiopian bread used to scoop the food, we asked Lucca to imagine how different cultures have similar ‘versions’ of foods as staples in their diets:  Pita bread in Lebanon, tortillas in Mexico, naan in India…and we had a fun family outing and new experience together.

Remembering the fun of that experience, we decided to go on another cross-cultural culinary expedition.  This time the process was simple and easy to replicate:  1. We looked at a world map.  2.  Together, we picked a country.   We went through a few–China, Italy, etc.–before we settled on one with food we had never tried:  Czechoslovakia.  (Using a globe might be fun at this point too, to add the element of chance to the selection process.)    3.  I logged onto Metromix.com and typed in the name of the country and our zip code.  We picked Operetta, which was the closest to us, but still in a new neighborhood.

We had fun imagining our server’s life in Czechoslovakia as she told us her story.  We tried dumplings (very different than a Midwesterner’s idea of Chicken and Dumplings), shared two different dishes, had a nice cold Czech beer (just the adults), and a big waffle ice cream sundae for dessert.  (As in “we have to try dessert mommy, it might be something we’ve never tried.”)

What I hope from this experience is that Lucca will learn by example as he sees me pushing the edges of my own comfort zone, exploring new areas of the City and trying new things, and that his own sense of curiosity and appreciation for the many perspectives in life will be piqued.   I believe this to be true, although the immediate learning in an experience is not always what you might expect.

Which brings me back to the Butt Soup.  The real highlight for my then 6 year old child, who had just learned to read?   He got to say “butt.”  Out loud.  In public.  In a sentence.  Multiple times, and with legitimate reason:  It was written clearly all over the menu, as in, shall I have the Butt Steak or the Butt Sandwich?  “I think we’ll just try the Butt soup.”

But…rest assured he’s eager for the next outing.

Photo credit tzejen on flickr

As someone married to an “Eugenio” (Brazilian Portuguese ay-oh-ZHEN-ee-oh) I was delighted to find the website Hearnames.com, which offers audio pronunciation by native speakers of hundreds of names in 44 language categories. 

Dale Carnegie taught millions how to Win Friends and Influence People with ideas like “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”  And in today’s global market, interacting and selling “in any language” is indeed a reality. 

Telling Jianguo “how about if I just call you Jim,” especially if he’s the CEO, might not bode well for your big international deal!

I heard about the site from Andres Tapia, author of The Inclusion Paradox and Chief Diversity Officer of Hewitt Associates, on his blog (via @joegerstandt, @andresttapia on Twitter).  His point, well taken, is that

To achieve inclusion, we need to know how to constructively call out our differences. But what if you can’t even pronounce each others’ names?”

What if you need more advanced lessons?  You won’t want to miss twochinesecharacters tongue tennis.  I’m not even going to try to explain.  But, as a marketer I’ve got to respect their use of visuals, and it does work (take a look at the link above).

I finally wrote a love poem to my husband 10 years into our marriage.  In the poem I pointed out “I would have written sooner, but the problem YOU-MAY-KNOW, was finding the right word, to rhyme with EU-GEN-IO.” 

Hmm…any websites to help with that?  What about you?  Do you have a hard name to pronounce?  How is your pronunciation?

In today’s multicultural world (depending on where you live) it is common to engage with people for whom English is not their first language.  While sometimes the interaction may be casual, with not much at stake, other times business deals, potential sales or enduring relationships may be at stake. Here are three tips to spoil the relationship from the get-go.

1.  If he or she seems not to understand what you’ve said, repeat it verbatim, only louder.  In fact shout it out.  The louder you speak English, the easier it is to understand.

2.  If the person is with an interpreter, boyfriend, child, who speaks better English, speak directly to the interpreter, boyfriend, child.  Turn your body to face that person, so that your body language also communicates that you are speaking with latter.  Use the third person, as in “where is he from?”

3.  If he or she is speaking English with you, albeit with an accent, interrupt and ask what language they speak, or just assume they speak Spanish, and answer in Spanish.  That’s particularly effective if the person is from Russia.  Actually, on this last one, the reaction does vary from person to person.  Sometimes people are relieved to be able to communicate in their native language, others will be offended, because they are speaking English.

While speaking louder doesn’t work, re-framing what you’ve said, or simply coming up with another way to phrase it can help, and addressing the person with whom you are speaking is a matter of respect.  For the final one, it may vary depending on the context of your interaction, and you may be able to take your lead from the person with whom you are speaking.

Any langague barriers you have experienced?  Have you been on the receiving end, when in another country?  How did it feel?

photo credit, Flickr: Tranchis

Remember as a kid trying to read your friends’ minds at a slumber party?  For my 10^th birthday, it came in between “Truth or Dare” and the Séance.

Now flash forward to the future (past “Men Who Stare at Goats“), where new technology potentially could erase communication barriers caused by traditional language differences. The program, funded by the US Military’s DARPA is called “Silent Talk” and involves computer-mediated telepathy.

While I’m still with one foot in the “can’t we all just get along” phase, here’s some food for thought from scientist Dr. Edgar Lara-Curzio (and new Intercultural Talk reader!) who knows about these things:

DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) has been funding research to develop brain-machine interfaces. Some of these projects have been very successful.

For example, some soldiers who lost limbs in combat have regained mobility by wiring artificial limbs to the brain using existing nerves (see video below) humans also have become able to operate wheel chairs with their thoughts.  (ed. note-in this clip also demonstrates ability to convert human thought into spoken language on a computer.)

I bet it is just a matter of time before we can start communicating with others by exchanging thoughts instead of using words.

I have been asked if such communications will be in a specific language (e.g., English, Spanish). I don’t think that will be the case. Instead, I believe there is a truly universal code of thoughts that will allow us to communicate regardless of what spoken language we learned or use.

After 9/11 DARPA funded the Translingual Information Detection, Extraction and Summarization Program (TIDES) to “enable English speakers to access and understand critical information quickly. The input to TIDES systems could be speech or text, and could involve numerous languages.”

They also funded the development of Babylon “to develop rapid, two-way, natural language speech interfaces.” While the initial goal of these programs is to support national security missions, the technologies that will derive from them will eventually find their way to the market place and will be used in civilian applications.

A few years from today you will be able to use commercial tools for your work in intercultural communications that had their genesis in Babylon and TIDES.

We are at the verge of a different, new and exciting world.

Have you thought about these possibilities? How would such developments facilitate intercultural communications?

photo credit:  Sunny Laid Back L.A.

I’m always leery of certain words that seem out of context when speaking in a language other than my own. So when the word “amor” (love) kept coming up in my conversation in Spanish with the Super Shuttle driver on the way to LaGuardia Airport Sunday night, I finally stopped and said “No comprendo”…I don’t understand.

As it turns out Carlos was from Colombia and he explained that in Colombia when you thought someone was nice or pretty or friendly, you called them “amor” (love) or even more common, he said, was “mami” (I’m assuming the equivalent of mommy.)  “Oh,” I’m thinking, “there goes 40 years of women’s lib out the window.” 

“Um, in the US women might be offended,” I cautiously offered. 

“Why?” he asked, incredulous.  “It’s a compliment!”

Now fast forward 45 minutes later and I’m on the plane and the flight attendant comes by to collect trash.  I had pre-separated the cans so she says, in English, “thanks, love.”  “Oh my goodness,” I thought…that’s twice in one night!” 

So I say “wait a minute, I have to ask you…I just had a conversation with a man from Colombia on the way to the airport and he said it’s common to call people ‘love,’ but I thought he was just getting fresh with me!  

She said “Noooo.  In fact, when someone’s really nice we call them Mamita, or Mami.”

For Carlos I suggested that women might think he was calling them ‘old’ if he called them ‘Mami,’ to which he responded that people in the US were more militant, and perhaps needed to relax a little.  

For the flight attendant, who self identified as “Puerto-riqueño” she was vivacious and friendly and charming.  And her unsolicited confirmation made it sound like this was a possibly Latin-based cultural habit (I’ve just made a huge leap to a generalization). 

I know, here is the point in the post where I give you brilliant advice and we all stop and admire how smart I am.  But, unfortunately, there’s too much going on here. 

What do you think? 

1. I, of course, thought when Carlos said amor he was making a pass at me—I was afraid the conversation was becoming inappropriate, so I clammed up.  In US culture, maybe it was inappropriate—or was it?  In the workplace of course you don’t want your boss using terms of affection, but isn’t someone saying “thanks, love” more pleasant than “what do YOU want” in a service economy?
2. Should someone have to censor their cultural habits because of gender?  The female flight attendant was giving me special attention when she was extra-friendly with me.  Carlos apparently used the same “culturally appropriate” language, but I was wary.
3. Should both have been expected to adapt their own culturally acceptable use of language to the American marketplace, which can be, as Carlos said, “militant?”
4. Finally, should I have even offered to speak Spanish to Carlos, the driver, in the first place.  It was clear he didn’t speak much English, but it can also be considered offensive to begin speaking Spanish ‘uninvited’—especially if someone is trying to speak English.  I took a risk–I had overheard him speaking Spanish on the radio, and I was the last one in the Super Shuttle, so I struck up a conversation.

…oh, Geez, did you hear that…”I” struck up the conversation.  Did he think I was hitting on him because I was being friendly?

What do you think?  What’s been your experience, communicating across language barriers?

photo credit:  toastforbrekkie

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.  The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.  He gasps:  “my friend is dead!  What can I do?”  The operator says:  “Calm down, I can help.  First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”  There is a silence, then a shot is heard.  Back on the phone, the guy says:  “Okay, now what?”

Chris Brogan included this joke in his book (written with Julien Smith) Trust Agents to show how jokes have a life of their own, that once created, continue to circulate completely detached from their original creator.

But it’s also a great metaphor for intercultural communications–particularly in multicultural societies (e.g. US) where everyone is speaking the same language (English.) 

To explain the work I do, I often tell people that I help them “translate their English to English.”  The funny joke does suggest why it’s so imporant to make sure our communications are understood as we intend them.

Ever have a funny, same language miscommunication?

My husband’s a bigger John Wayne fan that me (our pet goldfish is a bigger John Wayne fan than me, but that’s beside the point).  He grew up in Brazil watching and loving the old John Wayne movies. 

 “I do love his ‘swagger’ though” I admitted.

 “You mean his “arrastando pé?” my husband asked, providing the popular Brazilian descriptor for Wayne’s walking style, which, translated, literally means “dragging his feet.”

 Which brings to mind for me the phrase “something the cat dragged in.”  Hmmm.  Not very “John Waynish.”

 When speaking a foreign language (or for any newer writers in English, regardless of native language), it’s much easier to use “being verbs.”  In Portuguese I pretty much “sou” (am) or “fui” (went) everywhere.

 But think of the difference between “I am hungry.  I went to the kitchen” and “I’m starving.  I hurtled into the kitchen.”  

Or maybe I sauntered, or I tiptoed or tottered into the kitchen.  In the first I’m in an evening gown, the second I’m sneaking cookies, in the third perhaps I’ve had a cocktail or two.

 Just a ponderous look at language…the subtle differences in word choice to convey powerful differences in meaning.  And food for thought when reading or directing translation projects. 

 It’s not only a question of picking the right word in Spanish or Chinese or Czech, but the right word to create the desired visual image or feeling…and sticking with that word even if it’s not the one we would have chosen in our own language.

How was your morning?  Did you pop or roll out of bed?

Photo credit:  Cinemascope

You probably know one of each.  The one who picks up little things here and there over the course of the year, when things are on sale, and is ready for Christmas on December 1, and the one who walks the sales clerk out the door as it closes on December 24. 

The result is the same.  Both will end up with the same product, showing up at your door on December 25 bearing gifts in hand, but the process is entirely different. 

The distinction between process and product is a great one to consider in intercultural communications.  One, because it illuminates how individual differences vary and can trump what’s considered typical of a culture.  Everyone may need to be at work at 9, but do you eat breakfast first or dress first?  Are you 10 minutes early or 5 minutes late?  Drive, walk or take the bus?

Intercultural communications expert Edward T. Hall frames this as “high-context” vs. “low-context” cultures, looking at the flexibility of time–the more that time is open and flexible, process is more important than product.  When time is highly organized, product is more important than process.

Think of a road trip–whereas my son and I once took 10 hours to drive from Chicago to St. Louis (you can see all the old 20 foot high Muffler Men reformatted into the Gemini Giant, Hot Dog Man and Tire Man, plus visit the birthplace of the Corn Dog) my husband (who will no longer drive in the same car with us) can get there in four hours!

But also think of speaking with someone whose native language is not the same as yours.  Here are three tips to favor process over product in intercultural communications:

1.  Remember to be grateful that the person is attempting to reach out to you, by speaking in your language;

2.  Remember to listen for context and meaning, rather than getting stuck on one or two mispronounced words or poorly conjugated verbs (although perhaps I did let my husband say “gynecological tree” one too many times because it was really funny before correcting it to “geneological tree.”)

3.  Remember that communication of any kind is a two-way process.  Listen while the other person is speaking, ask for clarification if you need it, rephrase to make sure that you have understood.

The product, in the end, could be a lifechanging new friendship, relationship, business opportunity.  Now isn’t that worth the process?

Are you more process or product orientated?  How do you see that play out in your intercultural communcations? 

photo credits:  top from flickr by Cayusa, bottom by Dan Coulter, via RoadsideAmerica