Remember the 1958 film The Blob, with its big red amorphous goo rolling and taking over the town, absorbing the minds of young people who were not strong enough to resist?  Of course the “BIG RED BLOB” was none too subtle a reference to the Red Scare and fear of Communism taking over the US. 

Russia’s our friend now, so in Furry Vengeance, it’s the big bad Asian and Indian business people who heartlessly come in and tear up our natural resources and values in the name of the almighty dollar.  When I pointed this out to Dillon (okay, I should have waited more than 3 minutes after the movie ended to point out my theory) he said exasperated, “can I just enjoy the movie first?”

But the stereotypes were just too over the top. 

With the Asian-American businessman, Neil Lyman of Lyman Industries (played by actor Ken Jeong), he’s obviously USAmerican, and his role has nothing to do with being of Asian descent, and yet he inexplicably goes into some sort of Chinese, Japanese, Karate, English Gibberish rant when enraged, as in “aii yaaai yowie you stew-peed.  He then ads some fake karate tae Kwan do preparation moves in defense.

The Indian investors are fairly quiet, but when Brendan Frasier as the dad makes his impassioned plea “if you sign you’ll kill all the baby animals” Lyman counters with “but you’ll make oodles of money,” to which he completely unaffected says “give me the pen, where do I sign?”

Finally, in a purely gratuitous swipe at the elderly, the only character in the entire movie over 40 is constantly forgetting what she is saying and trying to get everyone, including even the raccoon, to paint pine cones.  Clearly there are no OLD PEOPLE in Utopia.

So maybe I’m overreacting, I thought.  What did others think?  In the blogosphere—right there with me on the awful stereotyping.  On the more mainstream media—only one star, but mostly for simply not being that funny.  And then I read the Chicago Tribune movie critic’s review:

“A bit player exaggerates his Mexican accent, and the Korean American doctor-turned-comic Jeong bursts into shrill, sing-songy Korean chatter on his cell-phone. Kids are never too young to find foreign languages funny.” 

Thank you, Mr. Movie critic, for pointing out kids are never too young to mock other cultures and laugh at racist stereotypes.

Well, at least they may take away a positive (albeit 2 dimensional pound-you-over-the-head-with-it) message about protecting the environment. 

Oh, and my 9 year old son liked the movie–there are potty scenes and skunk scenes and getting sprayed with water to look like you just did youknow what…all around general humor that will appeal to a child.

Oh, and we’re still talking about it and how cultures are represented or stereotyped in film almost a week later. 

So, in the end, perhaps the laugh is on those who created the stereotyped characters in the first place. 

What movies have you seen lately?  How do you balance letting your child enjoy it, while also opening discussion for learning?

Intercultural Talk was delighted to catch up with Dr. Charlton McIlwain following his ‘appearance’ on DoctorRadio on Sirius/XM Radio earlier this week, talking about “Teaching Kids about Race.” 

1.  What are the top three pointers you have for parents when teaching kids about race?

2.  Does how one talks about race with their children change based on the race of the parents, e.g. will (should?) African-Americans teach it differently than Caucasians?  If a family is multi-racial, will that make it different?

That’s a good question. I think my first reaction would be to say no – that how one talks about race with children should be the same no matter your racial/ethnic background. That being said, it is certainly likely that the content of what one talks about will be quite different. When we look at the historical underpinnings of race and racism people of different backgrounds have played very different roles and groups of people have been affected differently. Thus, a white parent speaking to his or her children may find themselves explaining to their children what role other whites had in something like slavery, or having to answer a question like, “Why do Black people think I’m a racist because I’m White?” On the other hand, a  Black parent may find him or herself addressing comments or questions like, “Why are White people prejudiced? or Why are there so few people that look like me on Television or in my school textbook? A multiracial family may find themselves having to address all of these and more! The truth is, everyone from all backgrounds should probably confront all of these types of questions and issues, but some may be more salient than others depending on one’s background.
 

3.  How might parents avoid passing along their own unconscious bias when talking to kids about race?

Being able and willing to recognize them when they come up. Be willing to point out and talk about those biases when they are expressed by their children. Try to impress on children that when they express some bias or prejudice, the object is not simply to not say it or express it again. It’s to think through why those biases may or may not be true, hurtful, harmful, etc.. In this way kids learn to be aware of and be able to police their own biases and expressions rather than merely censoring them.

4.  Any tips for helping children respond if they are the recipients of a racist remark (or does even asking this question set up a defensiveness going in for the child) 

Try to teach them that they should not respond in kind. Try to teach them that they should not accept or internalize the underlying prejudices and sentiments of the remark. Try to teach them that in many cases they should seek out an ally – a parent, teacher, principal – who will be able to talk to the person who made the remark.

5.  What question am I missing? What final advice might you provide for parents?

I would say that point one under question one is by far the most important thing. Make sure you are willing, and that your children know you are willing to talk about race and racial issues any time – before something happens, after something happens, if nothing happens…

Dr. McIlwain is an Associate Professor of Media, Culture & Communication at New York University.  His expertise, research and teaching focus on race and media and racial discourse in the United States.  Intercultural Talk ( @cultureguru) recommends keeping up with him @cmcilwain) and @smcaliendo and their Project on Race in Political Communication on Twitter.

Any additional tips you would share?  What’s worked for you?  What hasn’t?

My Aunt used to stand near people at the big art shows and just eavesdrop to see what they thought the artist was saying.  Another Uncle just used to waive away all modern art as something a child could create.  And who hasn’t produced a piece of white paper and called it “Ghost in the Snow” or some such name, proclaiming it a work of art.

It’s fantastic to see ”what the experts” have to say before expressing an opinion, or convenient to simply poo-poo that which we don’t understand. 

In that way visiting an art gallery is kind of like Intercultural Communications.  You know you shouldn’t shout “Ewww!  He’s Naked!” upon your first impression, but without background information on intent (for art) or cultural insight (for cross-cultural communications) there’s often that fear of being wrong or unintentionally causing offense.

“Is this racist?”  was Dillon, my 8 year old son’s question pointing to Invisible Man II sculpture by Albert Allen III, found in an ad for Sherry Hill Fine Arts in an Architectural Digest magazine at the Dentist’s Office.

 Seems powerful, considering the history of the image of a white man in black face.  But there’s no mouth.  Black man trying to conform to live in white world, remains voiceless?  Invisible?  Would the message be different if the artist was white or black, and why would I only think of those two options for him?  And what’s that around his neck–Dillon was reminded of a bow-tie, as a reference to a formal event, I was reminded of a noose or bondage.

What do you think?

Dillon’s Pick is part of a periodic series of ad analysis, observations or selections by 8 year old Dillon, a budding multiculturalist.

Dillon’s pick this week is the ad above for “Confederate Family Insurance.

It was so offensive, that we realized it couldn’t possibly be true.  Indeed, it is from Spike Lee’s faux documentary “Confederate States of America,” that looks at the US as thought the South had won the Civil War.

It’s extreme representations, however, provide perfect fodder for a budding multiculturalist-Dillon is 8-to hone his skills in recognizing inequities in advertising.

So, Dillon, what is wrong with this ad?

Um, at first they called him “master of the house.”  And in the beginning, a servant came to bring him his drink.  He looked at his wife and child as property, and everything revolved around him.  The gardener in the end was African American–but they were showing him really just to show it.  Plus his house looked like a plantation.

Many a parent will bemoan the stereotypic representations in children’s movies, TV, and commercials (Videos are so rife with issues we don’t even go there!), but how do you talk about them with your children?  For Dillon, he recognizes when something is sexist or racist, but sometimes doesn’t know why. 

The tricky part is when he asks me what I think–so that I allow him to form his own opinions, without potentially passing along my own biases.  But at least we are talking and forming language, and that is a great place to start.

What did you talk about with your kids at breakfast this morning?

Dillon, bless his little heart, at only 8 years old had to get a root canal last week.  He had broken his tooth while playing last March, and unfortunately it had gotten infected.

But that’s not the real story.  My husband was in the room with him as the Dentist got started.  “Would you like some gas before I give you the novacaine?” he asked.  Don’t all Dentists offer that before a procedure?

“Is that the gas they used to kill the Jews?” my son, who is Jewish, asked.  Despite all reassurances otherwise, Dillon refused to let the Dentist administer the gas.

I know we’re not the only ones who have these moments.  Love Isn’t Enough is a blog devoted to ‘anti-racist parenting,’ and Stephen Caliendo talked about his experience of visiting the Lincoln Museum with his nine year old daughter, both in an edited version on Dawn Turner Trice’s blog at the Chicago Tribune, Exploring Race, and in a longer version on his own blog, This Week in Race at the raceproject.org.

Sometime’s we’re speechless because of the depth of insight from such a little person.  Sometimes we’re speechless because we’re not sure how the comment comes across to those around us.  In this case, the Dentist was the only Muslim in a practice with three other (presumably, by name) Jewish Doctors.  “Will this dentist think we are racist?” crossed my husband’s mind, as though Dillon really thought the Dentist meant to do him harm.

I imagine the context in this case is twofold:  We visited the Holocaust Museum in in Washington DC last month, and he also recently brought a book home from the library, Someone Named Eva, by Joan M. Wolf, about (per Dillon’s description, we haven’t read it yet) a blond haired, blued eye Jewish girl who gets taken from her family and adopted by a German Famly and forgets her family and that she is Jewish.

As a Jew, I felt obligated to do the former, when we were in DC.  Now, perhaps the latter, reading the book together chapter by chapter at bedtime, will give us a chance to help him process what he saw as we build discussion of his feelings and thoughts into our conversations around the book.

Just forgetting about it and hoping it won’t come up again is one way to respond, but I don’t think that works.  For me, my “MO” has been to remember what was said, think about it, and reapproach the subject when I’ve had a chance to frame the discussion.  Starting with a book or work of art as a prompt is helpful.

What do you do?  What has your child said about race that stumped you?  How did you respond? 

Photo credit James Glave

At first I declared I was dressed Brazilian, after deciding not to change my shirt in response to my 8 year old’s announcement that “I did not look good” in the Happy Halloween T-shirt I planned to wear to school as Room Parent today.  While he didn’t articulate it, I’ve gained a few pounds on my already buxom figure, so the T-shirt is a little more fitted than the last time I wore it.  It’s still really comfortable, completely suitable, but there’s no camouflaging the girls. 

When I first went to Brazil with my American self-consciousness years ago I thought women were exploited, given the bare and form exposing clothes popuralized in advertising and media.  Until I realized people are just more comfortable in their skin.  This is my body…so what?  So, I’m dressed as a self-confident Brazilian.  I like my T-shirt.  So what?

But then I stopped by Trader Joe’s this morning saw that one of the employees was dressed up as…AN ASIAN WOMAN…Eeeek!  I’m shocked! I’m aghast!  Isn’t that inapproprate?

Well, yes, it is inappropriate to “dress-up” as another culture.  It appropriates and essentializes others by turning ‘real people’ into shallow, stereotypic objects.  Even my 8 year old knew it would be racist to dress up as a “Native American” when we saw the costume, and both felt a little sick to our stomach’s at the sign for “Asian Acceccories” posted at another Halloween store.

But there was something notable about this young woman dressed as an Asian Person.  She was Asian!  At first I was confused, then smiled. Was she purposely making fun of the racism and stereotypes that the holiday brings out.  Or did she wake up this morning and think “oh crap, it’s Halloween and I need a costume,” and just go into her closet?  Is it a political statement?  Is she parodying herself?

So, for now, I’m going as a Jew (I’m Jewish).  And, since I’m still not changing my shirt, I guess I’m going as a Brazilian Jew. 

How about you?

We covered the “Why” budding entrepreneurs need to be able to communicate and engage with people of all backgrounds:

1.  If you look at US Census Statistics to 2040, the population is shifting.  By 2040, caucasians will no longer be the majority.  As people of color make up the majority population in the US, one’s ‘multicultural competence’ becomes critical.  The population is changing, it’s a question of being prepared.

2.  As Entrepreneurs, you will be hiring staff.  Data shows that diverse teams where participants are engaged consistently outperform homogeneous teams.  You can get the broadest range of creativity, performance and execution from diverse, engaged, inclusive teams.

3.  As Entrepreneurs, you want to maximize your client base.  People of color represent over $1 trillion in buyng power.

But, unconscious bias and a natural tendency to enagage within one’s cultural comfort zone, sometimes can prevent people from reaching out across supericial characteristics of difference, such as race, ethnicity, gender, orientation and ability.

From here the remainder of the workshop focused on activities such as a Personal Identity worksheet, that captured how views of oneself can differ from how we believe others view us (e.g. most important identifiers to me might be ’mom,’ ‘jewish,’ ‘marketing/diversity professional.’  Others who look at me might say ’white,’ ‘woman,’ ‘middle-aged’).  Seeing the disparity in how we see ourselves vs. how we think others see us is an entree to empathy.

Next we did a “Dimensions of Diversity” exercise to explode the idea of diversity beyond the ‘low hanging fruit’ of race, ethinicity, etc., to diversity of ideas, lifestyles, or other factors.  It’s nice because it gets people up and moving around, as in, Go to this corner of the room if you are always early, this corner if you are always late, this corner if you are pretty much on time, and this corner if it depends on how important it is.  People self-segregate by habits.  Another one is “go to this corner if you are the oldest, this corner if you are the youngest, this corner if you are somewhere in the middle, and this corner if you are an only child.”

My friends, if you only read to here, I will say “Thank you very much” and summarize that I am brilliant and know everything. 

If you have to read further, well, not so much.  Or, rather, how we model language and how interactions work vary based on the participants.  I did this workshop last month for JEN, the Jewish Employment Network.  Well, guess what.  It was brilliant and everyone loved it.  But everyone looked like me.  This workshop today was well-received, but the language sounded different.  And, the issues are different. 

This group was extremely diverse.  In fact, of the 30-40 people in the room, only 5 of us were Caucasian.  When we did the Dimensions of Diversity exercise and self-segregated by birth order, the five participants from China ended up in the “only child” corner.  “One Child Policy,” they explained.  So suddenly my exercise to transcend ethnicity still divided by national origin.

The exercise was designed to get people up and moving around the room.  But for the first time, I had someone in the group who was a person with disability.  So, basically, I was leading a workshop on engagement and inclusion, but I’m not sure that he felt included.

The final exercise, on “Circles of Influence and Linchpins to Community” where we looked at who ’serves’ us in our lives–our Doctor, Dentist, Hair Stylist, Mail Carrier, etc. opened the deepest discussion.  Some found their circles to be very diverse.  Others noted that the professional services seemed to be caucasian, others people of color.  It also opened up conversations about access and who is educated and ideas about who is near us in the communities we live in, and how that connects more deeply to access to resources from an institutional perspective.

I spoke to the final student who lingered after the workshop about unconscious bias and how we form stereotypes from images in media all the time, and how important it is to question and embrace multiple perspectives.  “It sounds exhausting,” she said.

It is, I thought, but you can bet that I’ll be a better person for it.  And you can bet that I’ll have solutions and alternatives the next time to better remove my own bias and structure when working with amazinging and wonderfully diverse groups.  These young future CEO’s, full of passion and ideas are ready to engage and change the world.  Heck, who said the future is 2040?  It’s now!

Have you ever delivered the same messages to different audiences.  How did the meaning to the same words change, based on who was listening?  How would you change it if you did it again?

It always ends with him thinking that I think he’s racist, and with me thinking that he thinks I’m all about politically correct language with no real depth of meaning.  Rather than digging for clarification, we back away from the conversation. The funny part is that this time we were agreeing about the same thing:  Huckleberry Finn should not be banned.

This conversation has been lingering for a few months after my father introduced the book to my 8 year old son, who let me know by announcing that he had learned the ‘N’ word.  I’ve blogged about it here and here.  It reintroduced me to Mark Twain, who really is a brilliant writer, and it created an insight into institutional racism that I hadn’t anticipated, when Dillon said “back then this word was okay to use.” 

Indeed Twain seemingly uses the word not maliciously but as the ‘politically correct’ word at the time, just as African-American is used now.  The lesson from an institutional perspective was that “no, it wasn’t okay back then either.  It’s just that people didn’t have the power to make a change, and the government had laws that supported the imbalance.”  As my dad says, it’s a wonderful snapshot of small town community at that period in history.

But back to Mark Twain and Huckleberry Finn, and me and my dad.  Dillon and I are halfway through, reading one to two chapters a night.  Dad, however, has self-imposed a ban on reading the book to my sister’s son Noah. “I had to stop reading it” he said after Noah used the ‘N’ word at school. 

Noah’s school is diverse–in fact, he is in the minority as a caucasian.  He has lots of friends of all backgrounds.   Nobody seems to know the circumstances around the use of the word, just that he said it, and now everyone has frozen, and Huckleberry Finn is bad. 

I do wonder what age is the best to read Huckleberry Finn, and wouldn’t want just any teacher teaching it.  But for my Dad and me and Noah and Dillon, I think this could be a critical learning point. 

At first I thought I would try to get Noah alone next time we are in town to talk to him.  I’m afraid this strict yet silent response is what will perpetuate a self-consciousness in interracial communications.  But now, in writing this, I think the best thing might be to encourage my dad to have that conversation, and to use the reading of Huckleberry Finn as the jumping off point.

Perhaps the whole conversation, rather than being an impasse, is a gift through which we can all model language and understand our own biases in communicating about race.