First off, I have to tell you my husband HATES the word “play date.” In the olden days (both in the
On the positive side (and as a multicultural marketer/event planner) this strikes me as a great opportunity to put our values where our mouths are. As long as I’m calling, scheduling and driving anyway, why not purposefully seek out families of different cultural backgrounds so that Dillon (and we) have a chance to interact and build social relationships outside of our own ethnic/racial/cultural group. Plus, to make it work, we’d need to figure out parking, eating, gathering, etc. details in advance—making it even easier for families with kids to venture off on new experiences around the City.
But, is this too superficial? Too contrived? Is it just a ‘white thing’ (e.g. do families of color have the same issue)? Or, is it a great way to pass multicultural values and diminish unconscious bias for the next generation?
Heck, I just met a couple over the weekend who met on an Internet dating site. He’s Jewish from the
¿Que piensas? May I sign you up?
On June 16th, 2009 at 10:07 am thegoriwife said:
As the parent of an intercultural child, I’m always searching for ways to expose him to diversity. I’m primarily concerned with making sure he is exposed to Pakistanis and Pakistani culture because that’s his other heritage, but I think the idea of intercultural play dates is a great idea. Although in all but the most diverse areas, I do think it would be seen as a weird thing.
On June 16th, 2009 at 3:14 pm shoss said:
Thansk so much for your comment. In thinking of a ‘formal’ way to do this, I realize that perhaps I am afraid of doing it at the same time? We already have within our circle two Indian families with whom we have connected superficially on Dillon’s soccer team, he is friends with a boy who is Cambodian at school, and our own circle is full of people who are Jewish and of various Hispanic and Latino heritage.
I realize I could just call these families and invite them over, but perhaps your last comment is what stops me–would they think it weird, or question my motive, if we have no connection other than having kids at the same (albeit big) school? Do I need to say I’m hoping to build a diverse social network to set a good example for my son? In the abstract–as in a formal family playdate, I do get to say that, and people participate or not based on how they feel about that. If I’m calling someone I know superficially, is it offensive that I want to know them better, potentially/initially because of their racial/ethnic/cultural identity.
Ahh–I suppose if I am going to practice what I preach, I would like to figure out how to set this up, going to ‘real people’ who are already in my ‘network’. That seems much harder!
On June 24th, 2009 at 12:42 am shoss said:
By the way, when we first moved to Chicago (I know, big City), believe it or not, I called the LIBRARY to find out where all the Brazilians were! We had been part of a large Brazilian community in Boston before moving. The Public Library gave me the name and number for the then president of the Illinois-Sao Paulo Partners of the Americas organization, which is how we originally connected. Chicago has a large Pakistani community–sometimes you can connect by starting with larger organizations, and then mining down using the principals of networking. My son and I ended up going to a seder in Sao Paulo Brazil that way, by continuing to ask the same question until we found a connection. If I could help by connecting you to anyone here to start, please let me know.
On June 24th, 2009 at 7:37 pm Gori Girl said:
I don’t have a child, so this is all hypothetical, but, in the future, my goal is to live in a “diverse enough” area – and be involved as a family in “diverse enough” activities that intercultural/multicultural relationships form of their own accord, for both my family as a whole & for my (hypothetical) kid. At the moment, that strategy seems to be working pretty well for my husband and myself.
Now, if we didn’t live in a diverse area – then I would be more proactive in searching out a multicultural community. How I’d go about doing that, well, that’s a tough one. Probably I’d try to get something going among parents discussing diversity – and while the adults are talking the kids can play together.
On August 13th, 2009 at 7:06 pm Tikki said:
I live in Minneapolis and have started a blog with the underlying purpose of gathering a community of multicultural families/children together. I have struggled as well, how to start, will anyone come? I think its a great idea!
On August 19th, 2009 at 2:07 am shoss said:
Thanks, Tikki. I’ve thought about Meetup.com, too–there’s a fee (not sure what it is) but I know large groups of like-minded people have come together via Meetup. I’ve also posted and connected with people on mamasource.com. I believe mamasource is regional, in the sense that your messages and posts are shared with people in the area. Good luck and send updates!